Dating with a disability

This is not talked about enough! People with disabilities DO have relationships! They can sometimes be their caretaker as well as their partner. In my experience, Jacob is both.

I met Jacob in my junior year of high school. By then, I was already in my wheelchair and fully embracing my disability. I was nervous the first couple of times we hung out because I didn’t know what to expect or how we would work together to figure this out.

I knew my disability didn’t define me, but in those first years of our dating, I was always worried that he was going to leave me if I got worse. I had a fear that he wouldn’t like me because of my disability or that I wasn’t good enough because of that.

BUT society made me feel this way: the way that we are represented in the community, the way people interpret people with disabilities and relationships.

6 years later, we are better than ever and he still is here. It really takes a special kind of human to knowingly jump right in and be my caretaker as well as my partner.

Now, not to say we don’t have our moments, but we are just like any other couple or relationship- loving, affectionate, have fights, and care for one another. We love each other for our flaws, personalities, challenges, and anything else in between that makes us- US!

There are so many misconceptions when it comes to a person with a disability dating a person without a disability. Things such as are they dating because he takes care of her? Is he only dating her because he feels bad for her? Other generic questions that pop up, that I can’t believe people ask or comment on, such as can people with disabilities be intimate? Are you even capable of dating? You’re so pretty for being a girl in a wheelchair!

These are some of the things people in the community face in the dating world.

I was lucky not to have to gone through dating apps or be a part of the dating world for that long. But I understand that it is a struggle, and I watch my friends go through the rollercoaster. I’m forever grateful that Jacob is accepting and understanding as he is. He makes me feel comfortable and he brings out the best version of myself.

These misconceptions of relationships and disabilities need to end. People in the disabled community are just like every other person- we, too, want happiness, love, support, to feel cared for, and everything in between. Stop assuming we are incapable and start looking beyond the disability. We don’t define ourselves by our disability and neither should you.

My dear friends that are in the dating world, keep holding on! You deserve the world, and you will find the person who sees the best in you and makes you feel comfortable, loved, and supported! They are out there! I promise!